The Politically-correct Ten Commandments

During recent years, the display of the Ten Commandments has been ruled offensive and illegal by many of our Highest Courts in the Land.  We have attempted to modify the Ten Commandments to make them politically-correct so they are acceptable for public display.  Here they are:

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before the Federal Government of the United States of America.

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven, but thou shalt worship the earth itself.

3.  Thou shalt not take Jesse Jackson’s name in vain.

4.  Remember the anniversary of Roe Vrs. Wade and keep it holy.

Six days shalt thou try to avoid work if at all possible, and seek  every handout, Government subsidy, and disability allotment that  you can get.

5.  Honor thy Mother and thy Mother’s boyfriend (or girlfriend).  Honor thy Father and thy Father’s girlfriend (or boyfriend).

6.  Thou shalt not Kill those who have been convicted of atrocious crimes, nor shalt thou go to war and defend your country from those enemy countries who would kill and enslave us, yet it is perfectly okay to kill the unborn at any age.

7.  Thou shalt not commit adultery if there is a chance of thou getting caught.

8.  Thou shalt not steal except from the rich who have enough already.  The Federal Government is allowed to confiscate a tremendous amount of your taxes in order to enrich Itself and to support those who would not work.

9.  Thou shalt not bear False Witness except when it is to thy advantage to do so, or unless you are a politician under oath to a Grand Jury.

10. Thou shalt not Covet thy neighbor’s possessions, except it be for the Redistribution of his wealth to those who have not had the breaks in life.