'An Independent Baptist Church'

                 Life of The Hippie

A hippie boarded an airplane and was seated next to a Catholic Priest.  The hippie had the long hair down to here, holes in the jeans, beads...and smelled like he hadn't taken a bath in many moons.  The priest gave the hippie the type of look that was evident to everyone he disapproved of the hippie's lifestyle.  The hippie picked up a magazine and began to read it as the priest continued to glare at the hippie.  After awhile, the hippie folded his magazine and leaned over to the priest and said, "Father, Do you know what causes arthritis?"  Well, the priest was just waiting for that.  He said, "I'll tell you young man, what causes arthritis...it's wild living, drinking, carousing....THAT'S WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS!"  "Well, I was just wondering," the hippie replied, "It says here in this magazine that the POPE has it..."

A NUN with her arm in a sling is walking across the street at the stoplight when two Hell's Angels motorcyle riders pull up to the intersection.  One of the Hippie Motorcyle riders yells to the nun in a mocking tone, "Hey Sister, what happened to your arm?" As the gang members laugh at their leader's comments to the nun, she replies, "I fell down while I was in the bathtub."  One the Hell's Angels whispers to another, "What's a BATHTUB?"  The other one replies, "How should I know, I ain't CATHOLIC..."

A HIPPIE was riding in a taxi when the stoplight ahead turned RED.  Instead of slowing down to stop, the taxi driver hit the pedal and took off faster and flew through the RED LIGHT!  The Hippie, almost suffering from whiplash, was WHITE as a GHOST!  He looked at the taxi driver and said, "HEY MAN!  DIDN'T YOU SEE THAT LAST RED LIGHT?"  The taxi driver calmly replied, "I always do that...I have 3 brothers who drive taxi's and they run through red lights too!"  In disbelief, the poor hippie looked ahead and another stoplight was turning RED.  The hippie braced himself as the taxi driver FLOORED IT and raced through the red light!  The hippie was scared speechless as he held on.  Up ahead the light was turning green and the taxi driver hit his brakes and almost ran the hippie through the window as the cab came to a screeching halt!  The hippie screamed, "DUDE!!...THE LIGHT WAS GREEN!!  WHY DID YOU STOP NOW, MAN?"   The driver replied, "One of my brothers might be coming through..."

A man was sitting on a park bench and noticed a long-haired hippie-looking example of our youth walking on the other side of the park.  The man commented to the person sitting next to him, "You know, it's a shame what's happening to our youth today. Looking at that feminine-looking young man over there.  What's happening to our youth today?   The person on the bench replied, "EXCUSE ME...that's not a young MAN, that is MY daughter!   The man apologized profusely and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were were her father."  A stern look followed as the person replied, "I'm NOT her father, I'm her MOTHER..."

A hippie with a bicycle was standing along side the highway with his thumb in the air trying to hitch a ride when a man in a sport's car stops and offers the hippie a lift.  Unable to fit the bicycle in the trunk of the little car, the driver figured out that they could tie a tow-rope to the bicycle and the driver could tow the hippie on the bicycle down the highway and everything would be okay.  The driver of the sports car told the hippie he could toot his bicycle horn if the car got to going too fast, and the driver promised he would then slow down.  Down the road they go and before long the driver in the sports car FORGETS about the hippie on the bicycle behind him.  Down the road they go up to 50 mph with the hippie's hair flying straight out behind him!  All of the sudden a guy in a big cadillac blows by and winks at the sports car driver!  That's all it took, and the driver in the sports car floors it, determined not to the let the other driver show him up!  There they all go down the road...going faster and faster...as they FLY by a speed trap with officers in a squad car watching in disbelief as the 'CARAVAN' goes zooming by.  The cop in the squad car radios to the car waiting down road and says, "Harry, you're not going to believe this, but there's a red sports car and white cadillac coming down the road doing over a 100 mph....and Harry....there's a hippie riding on a bicyle behind them... TOOTING his horn and trying to PASS!!!"

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.  They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

The Pope, Reverend Jesse Jackson, and a hippie were on board a small private plane when the pilot announced that they were in trouble and should bale out.  Unfortunately there were only two parachutes between the three passengers, meaning that someone would be left to face almost certain death.  Before they could discuss it, Reverend Jackson snatched a parachute, ran for the door and jumped, screaming: "I'm far too important a person to die!"  The Pope and the hippie looked at each other and the one remaining parachute.  The Pope said, "My son, I have lived a good, long life, and I have faith that I will go to a better place.  You take the last parachute."   "It's okay, Father, you have it," said the hippie, reaching down. "I'll have this one.  The Reverend there just jumped out holding my backpack."

A hippie was seated next to a Baptist minister on an airplane.  The hippie commented to the preacher that this was his first time on an airplane.  The minister commented he had flown many times, and warned the hippie that his ears would start popping soon, and he told the hippie that chewing gum would stop his ears popping during the flight.  The minister reached in his pocket and handed the hippie a stick of gum.  As they landed, the hippie turned to the preacher and said, "Hey Dude, the chewing gum works fine, but how do I get it out of my ears now?"

A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane, and smells like Cheetah.

A hippie walked into a very formal Catholic Church service and sat down to watch the service.  As the priest walked down the aisle swinging the incense carefully back and forth, the hippie whispered to him as he walked by, "Father, I like your outfit, but did you know your purse was on fire?"

The preacher was driving home from the church service and was stopped at the stop light when a hippie on a bicycle pulled up beside him.  The two spoke politely to each other while waiting on the light.  As the green light appeared, the preacher took off in his car and noticed the hippie appearing farther and farther behind in his rear view mirror, and all of a sudden he noticed the hippie FLY BY on his bicycle.  The preacher couldn't believe it, because he was driving at least 30 mph himself!  All of a sudden, here come the hippie ZOOMING back the other direction just as fast, with the hippie's hair flying in the air behind him!  The preacher looked in his rear view mirror to see the hippie coming back again to PASS preacher's car like he was sitting still!  Finally at the next stoplight both of them came to a standstill, side by side each other once again.  The hippie pecked on the preacher's window and said, "Dude, would you help me unhook my suspender from your rearview mirror...."

Two Hippies wandered into a Pentecostal preaching service and the preacher was waxing eloquent, and was in rare form, really 'cuttin down the hay', you might say.  After the service, the hippies were walking out and the one said the other, "Did you understand a word that preacher dude said?"  "No," the other replied, "But he sure could PREACH, couldn't he!"

A hippie was walking down the street and a man noticed the hippie only had one shoe.  He said to the hippie, "Hey, buddy, did you lose a shoe?"  "No," replied the hippie, "I found one."