Courtin and Sparkin'

There was an old couple who were celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary.  That night they were sitting on the sofa watching TV reminiscing back over their fifty years of happiness.  And the lady said to her husband, "Honey, do you remember what you done over fifty years ago when we were courting?" He said, "No, what?"  She said, "Well, you put your arm around me and held me real close."  And so he did it.  He put his arm around her and held her up real close.  She then said, "You know what else you did?"  He said, "No, what?"  She said, "You kissed me on the cheek!"  Well, he pulled her over and gave her a nice kiss.  Then she said to him, "Do you remember what else you did? "No, what?" he replied.  "You used to nibble on my ear!"  Just then the old feller jumped up and started running across the room!  His wife said, "Wait a minute, honey!  What are you doing? Where are you going?"  He said, "I'm going to go get my teeth!"

From Minnie Pearl's advice column in the Grinder's Switch newspaper:  "Dear Minnie, When my boyfriend calls on me he doesn't want to do anything but sit in the parlor and kiss me from eight o'clock 'til twelve. Do you think we spend too much time on kissin'?"  Signed Puzzled.   Answer: "Dear Puzz, Them's the kind of puzzles I enjoy workin' on personal.  But I've always found that kissin's like eatin' soup with a fork.  It takes a long time to get enough!"

A sixteen- and seventeen-year old decided that they were in love and just had to get married, much to the opposition of their parents.  When the minister asked the youthful bride and groom to repeat after him, "With all my worldly goods I thee endow," the mother of the groom nudged her husband and whispered, "There goes his bike."

After the bride returned from her honeymoon she came home to her mother.  "Living with Bill is going to be horrible," she wailed.  "He's an atheist and doesn't believe in hell."  Her mother said, "Don't worry, honey. Between you and me, we'll have no trouble showing him how wrong he is!"

A young boy was taking a girl to a dance for the first time.  His mother, noting his nervousness, instructed him in the proper social graces.  "Remember," she said, "she'll be just as nervous as you are so say something nice to set her at ease." Later on while they were dancing, the boy remembered what his mother had told him and finally said, "Boy!  For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much!"