APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Note:  This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a certified financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from a doctor.  Please be prepared to submit to additional testing, such as a polygraph test and psychological profile, as requested.

 

Name                           

Date of Birth                

Social Security #                                 

Driver’s license #                               

IQ                 GPA   

Political Affiliation     

Home Address            

Do you have one male and one female parent?  

            If No, Explain

Do you own a van?    

A truck with oversize tires?     

A waterbed?    

A motorcycle?

Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring?      

A tattoo?         

(If you answered YES to any of the last 6 questions, discontinue application and leave at once!)

Do you have color-altered hair?

Do you wear britches so baggy your underwear shows?

 

In 50 words or less what does the word “LATE” mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does “Abstinence” mean to you?

What is your Church affiliation?        

How often do you attend?      /week

Best time to interview your Parents?

Your Preacher?   

Your Employer?  

Have you ever been fingerprinted?    

Had a DNA sample taken & recorded? 

 

Answer the following questions under oath:

 

The one thing I hope this application does not ask about me is:

A women’s place is in the:

My greatest fear is:

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is in the:

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

Can you financially support a family? (There are 5 of us)     

What do you want to IF you grow up?

 

CERTIFICATION OF ACCURACY BY APPLICANT:

I swear that all the above information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of dismemberment:

(Signature)

 

 

Thank you for your interest.  Please allow four to six years for processing.  You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (this action will void the application).  If your application is rejected, two gentlemen named Bubba and Leroy will notify you.